Self Made College

Gardening With Me. Grow something on purpose.

Gardening With Me course box

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  1. GET YOU SOMETHING TO GROW
  2. KNOW WHEN 2 PUT IT IN
  3. GIVE YOUR GARDIN LUV
  4. STOP MESSIN WIT IT
  5. SOME STUFF GON DIE
  6. GARDIN STANDN TALL

Audio. 30 lessons. $13.99. 14 day money back.

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Two Real Lessons

Not a trailer and not a sales pitch with music under it. Two whole lessons out of the paid course, free, right here, so you know exactly what the other 28 sound like.

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6 Modules
30 Lessons

30 audio lessons across 6 modules

Every lesson written out, to read next to the audio

Yours for life once you pay, on whatever phone you already have

14 days to change your mind and get the money back

The struggle: Everybody says they want a garden. Then the plant dies and they decide they were not born with a green thumb. It was never a thumb. Nobody ever told you what the plant actually needs, or when to leave it the hell alone.

The outcome: Pick something worth growing, put it where the sun actually is, water it by the dirt instead of by feel, catch what is eating it before it wins, lose a few without quitting, and walk back out next season knowing your own yard.

Everything In It
1 GET YOU SOMETHING TO GROW
1.1

WHAT KIND OF GARDIN YOU WANT?

Picking what you actually wanna grow. The takeaway: Grow somethin u give a damn about.

1.2

FIND YOU SOME SUN

Reading how much direct sun a spot really gets. The takeaway: Put somethin there that actually wanna be there.

1.3

GROUND, BED OR BUCKET

Choosing between the ground, a raised bed or a container. The takeaway: Pick a home ya plant can live in.

1.4

DIRT AIN’T JUST DIRT

Garden soil, potting mix and why theyre not the same. The takeaway: Take care what u cant see.

1.5

START SMALL BRUH

Sizing the garden to your worst week, not your best. The takeaway: Small gardin still a gardin.

2 KNOW WHEN 2 PUT IT IN
2.1

PLANTS GOT SEASONS TOO

Cool season crops versus warm season crops. The takeaway: Grow with the season.

2.2

KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE

Frost dates, zones and why local beats general advice. The takeaway: Grow where u at.

2.3

SEED OR BABY PLANT?

When to sow seed and when to buy a transplant. The takeaway: Pick the start u can handle.

2.4

DONT PLANT IT JUST CUZ THEY SELLIN IT

Why the store shelf isnt a planting calendar. The takeaway: Buy for ya season, not they shelf.

3 GIVE YOUR GARDIN LUV
3.1

GIVE IT A DRINK

Watering by the soil instead of by feel. The takeaway: Check first then water.

3.2

WATER GOTTA LEAVE TOO

Drainage, and why a pot without a hole is a bucket. The takeaway: Water gotta leave too.

3.3

FEED THE BABY

N-P-K, compost and why more food isnt better. The takeaway: More aint always more.

3.4

GIVE EVERYBODY SOME ROOM

Spacing plants for the size they become. The takeaway: Give stuff room 2 become itself.

3.5

SUN + DIRT + WATER

Checking sun, dirt and water before anything else. The takeaway: Check the basics first.

4 STOP MESSIN WIT IT
4.1

TOO MUCH LUV

How over-care creates problems you cant trace. The takeaway: Luv it then leave it alone.

4.2

QUIT MOVIN IT

Transplant shock and leaving a plant where it is. The takeaway: Peace dont always need improvement.

4.3

CUT WHAT NEED CUTTIN

What actually earns a cut, and what doesnt. The takeaway: Dont cut just cuz u got scissors.

4.4

WHO EATIN MY STUFF?

Identifying a pest before treating it. The takeaway: Find the problem, not just the damage.

4.5

SOME BUGS WORK HERE

Pollinators, predators and what broad spraying costs you. The takeaway: Know who u fightin first.

4.6

WHY MY PLANT LOOK LIKE THAT?

Reading the pattern of a symptom, not just the symptom. The takeaway: Pay attention before u react.

5 SOME STUFF GON DIE
5.1

PLANT SICK OR YOU MESSED UP?

Telling real disease apart from bad conditions. The takeaway: Guessin aint diagnosing.

5.2

HEAT, COLD N OTHER BULLSHIT

Heat, frost, wind and what you can actually control. The takeaway: Weather dont care about ya plans.

5.3

SAVE IT OR LET IT GO

When a plant is worth saving and when it has to go. The takeaway: Everything dont gotta be rescued.

5.4

IT HAD A GOOD RUN

Annuals, perennials and plants that just finished. The takeaway: Some stuff gon die. That dont mean it didnt grow.

5.5

TRY AGAIN

Changing one thing and planting again. The takeaway: Some losses still grow u.

6 GARDIN STANDN TALL
6.1

LOOK AT IT EVERY DAY

A two minute daily walk, without fixing anything. The takeaway: Look before u gotta fix.

6.2

KNOW YOUR GARDIN

Learning your own yard and keeping four notes. The takeaway: Know what u grow.

6.3

PICK WHAT YOU GREW

Harvesting, and why picking keeps a plant producing. The takeaway: U grew it. Go eat it.

6.4

GET READY FOR NEXT SEASON

Season end cleanup, compost and rotation. The takeaway: Next gardin start with what this one taught u.

6.5

SIT DOWN N LOOK AT IT

Stopping to look at what you built. The course closes here.

Course Facts

Gardening With Me

How to grow something on purpose and keep it alive

Self Made College

Serving size1 course

Servings per box1

30 audio lessons · 6 modules · 1 season

Amount per serving

lessons
Picking it and where it goes5
Putting it in at the right time4
Water, food and room5
Leaving it the hell alone6
When it dies anyway5
Still standing next season5

What is in the lessons

Setup
What to grow. Where the sun lands. Ground, bed or bucket. Dirt against potting mix. Starting small.
Timing
Cool season. Warm season. Your own frost dates. Seed against a baby plant. The shelf is not a calendar.
Care
Water by the dirt. Drainage. Food in the right amount. Room to grow into. Sun, dirt, water, in that order.
Trouble
Too much water. Moved it twice. Cut what did not need cutting. What is eating it. Which bugs work here. Heat. Frost. When to let it go.

Ingredients

WHAT KIND OF GARDIN YOU WANT?; FIND YOU SOME SUN; GROUND, BED OR BUCKET; DIRT AIN’T JUST DIRT; START SMALL BRUH; PLANTS GOT SEASONS TOO; KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE; SEED OR BABY PLANT?; DONT PLANT IT JUST CUZ THEY SELLIN IT; GIVE IT A DRINK; WATER GOTTA LEAVE TOO; FEED THE BABY; GIVE EVERYBODY SOME ROOM; SUN + DIRT + WATER; TOO MUCH LUV; QUIT MOVIN IT; CUT WHAT NEED CUTTIN; WHO EATIN MY STUFF?; SOME BUGS WORK HERE; WHY MY PLANT LOOK LIKE THAT?; PLANT SICK OR YOU MESSED UP?; HEAT, COLD N OTHER BULLSHIT; SAVE IT OR LET IT GO; IT HAD A GOOD RUN; TRY AGAIN; LOOK AT IT EVERY DAY; KNOW YOUR GARDIN; PICK WHAT YOU GREW; GET READY FOR NEXT SEASON; SIT DOWN N LOOK AT IT.

Format / weight

AudioYes. Phone is enough.
Lesson scriptsYes. Read along with each one.
Video0 min
Live calls0
App to downloadNone
Yard requiredNo. A bucket on a step counts.
AccessLifetime after you pay
Refund14 days. Email. No monologue.

Not a significant source of

Latin names · a tiller · a greenhouse · raised bed blueprints · soil test kits · a four hundred dollar trip to the garden center · anything you cannot do on a Saturday.

Contains dirt under your nails, and a few plants that do not make it.

May contain language your HOA newsletter would not print.

Distributed by Self Made College, Texas. $13.99 · That's us.

You do not need a yard and you do not need a green thumb, because there is no such thing. You need one thing in the ground that you actually care about, and somebody telling you the truth about what it needs.

$13.99